Here is our scientific breakdown:
Balvenie 21: this is the Scotch you would serve if you wanted a women’s clothes to fall off. It is so smooth. Sexy smooth.
The science: our only female taster, and best wrestler, said this was her absolute favorite.
(1 vote for favorite scotch)
Aberlour 18: this is the scotch you would drink with friends.
The science: this was the only bottle drank completely empty amongst friends.
(0 votes for favorite scotch)
Aultmore 12: this is the scotch you would drink alone, while jerking off.
The science: it was the top pick of our youngest male employee. It was the second or first choice of everyone else. Hard to describe, it’s so good you almost don’t want to share it.
(3 votes for favorite scotch)
Ardbeg Uigeadail: this is the scotch for a serious business negotiation. When power and dominance are required.
The science: 1. our most overly testosterone driven employee chose this as his number one choice.
(1 vote for favorite scotch)
Lagavulin Double Matured Small Batch Scotch Whisky, Distilled 1998, Bottled 2014: This is the scotch you would pour a respected old fud.
The science. We employ one old fud, this was his favorite. If John Wayne had stopped by, we all agreed that this is what we would pour him.
(1 vote for favorite scotch)
Thank you for helping me discover what scotch is all about. And BTW these are damn healthy scotches. Though I should have felt like dog-shit on Friday, I had no typical hangover effects. I was tired and felt stupid, but no headache or sickness at all. These are dame fine whiskies.